In September 2022, Charles III ascended the throne of Great Britain and Northern Ireland. He inherited an institution that, due to the long tenure of his predecessor, has slowly fossilised and isolated itself in ever greater degree from the people over which it claims to rule. Nevertheless, even this dedicated anti-royalist sees (or perhaps imagines) some glimmers of light at the end of the tunnel. Namely, Charles has long claimed that he wants to modernise the British monarchy. With that in mind, I hereby present some basic, common-sense steps that he could take. Will he follow through? Probably not, because it’s not like I have a direct line to Buckingham Palace and I doubt that he’d listen to me anyway. But here they are nonetheless: four (4) suggestions to drag the Windsors kicking and screaming into the twenty-first century.