How would "Canschluss" work?
Some practical issues regarding an American takeover of Canada
Donald Trump has claimed that he could use economic force to crush the Canadian economy and force Canada to join the United States. This threat is mind-boggling and offensive on many levels, yet also credible enough that outgoing Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was caught on a hot mic signaling his concerns about it.
“Canschluss”—a portmanteau of Canada and Anschluss, the Nazi annexation of Austria in 1938—presents many practical challenges. I doubt that Trump or his cronies have given them much thought, but I certainly have.
State or Territory
Trump has been calling Canada the fifty-first state, but is that really what he wants? Republican senators have already freaked out about statehood for Washington, D.C. and Puerto Rico on the basis that these two new states would guarantee a Democratic majority in Congress. In addition, the number of electoral votes that would accrue to Canada as a state would all but guarantee that the Republicans would never win the presidency again.
With all these considerations, Canada would probably end up a territory rather than a state. Although a denial of full statehood would certainly be insulting, the legitimacy of Canadian resistance to annexation might paradoxically be strengthened by such a move. Unless the territory of Canada becomes a tax-free haven funded entirely by American taxpayers, the old eighteenth-century cry of “No taxation without representation!” could fuel a new call for independence. I assume that most of the powers that be would stuff their fingers in their ears and shout, “LALALA! I’M NOT LISTENING!” but at least Canadians could derive some satisfaction by pointing out their hypocrisy…although given that Washington, D.C., Puerto Rico, Guam, US Virgin Islands, and American Samoa still aren’t states, I don’t think anyone would care.
Imperial or Metric
Replacing highway signage will cost a lot of money. Where will these funds come from? By Trump’s reckoning, Canada is very poor and already subsidised by the United States, so how could Canadians afford to pay for these changes? It looks like the U.S. will have to splurge even more to convert all those speed limit signs from kilometres to miles. Not to mention the textbooks that drill the metric system into impressionable kiddies’ brains from kindergarten onwards…and all the metresticks in Canadian classrooms that will have to be replaced with yardsticks.
Spelling
In the event of an American takeover, the debate over “honour” or “honor” will arise sooner rather than later. Trump certainly has neither, but I still anticipate a fight in which everyone shows their true colours (or colors).
Pronunciation
I left Canada when I was 11, and yet whenever I meet Americans, one of the first things that I inevitably hear from them is: “OMG! You actually say ‘aboot’! Say it! Say it again!” This is particularly frustrating given that I am from the West Coast, and say ‘aboat’ rather than ‘aboot.’ But I digress.
I’m actually quite fascinated by how American annexation would affect Canadian accents. Accent is one way that Canadians differentiate themselves from their southern neighbours; for example, the Northern Cities Vowel Shift that took place in the Midwestern United States stopped at the Canadian border.
In the face of a deluge of American media and the near-certain demise of the cancon laws that legislate a minimum amount of Canadian content on radio and TV, would residents of the fifty-first state retain their Canadian accents? Would ‘oot’ and ‘aboot’ become words of resistance or would they mark the speaker as someone from the hinterlands, to be pitied rather than feared? And what would happen to the capital of Saskatchewan, namely Regina? When I was in elementary school in Michigan, my classmates and teacher were very squeamish about that word’s resemblance to a certain part of female anatomy and tried to gaslight me into believing that it should be pronounced ‘Regeena.’ Sadly, I did not think of my icily condescending comeback—“I don’t know what you’re talking aboot, eh”—until many decades later.
The Quebec Question
MAGAts have been freaking out about Spanish speakers in the United States for at least a decade. What are they going to do when faced with a province full of people with a strong cultural identity, who speak French as their native language, and who are accustomed to political autonomy? Oh, and who have experience kidnapping politicians and engaging in terrorism?
One possibility for Quebec is independence—MAGAts don’t want to deal with a DEI province, so they cut it loose. Alternately, Quebec loudly and unceasingly protests its loss of privileges under American rule. This leads to Trump wanting to show his strength and he decides to crush the province. Quebec then becomes the seat of the resistance and French is adopted by English-speaking anti-American Canadians. Tabarnak!
Crown Treaties with First Nations
Some Indigenous leaders have recently spoken out against Trump’s fifty-first state proclamations. Chief Tanya Aguilar-Antiman of Mosquito, Grizzly Bear’s Head, Lean Man Assiniboine Nation, told CBC that “it’s clearly evident that Trump is lacking knowledge of treaties.” Meanwhile, Chief Roger Redman of Standing Buffalo Dakota Nation said in a statement, “Our ancestors fought to protect these lands. We honour them by ensuring that our sovereignty remains intact today.”
The Trump government’s relationship with Indigenous people in Canada will in all probability go pear-shaped in some way. Whether it will be a Bartlett pear or a prickly pear is unclear to me, although I assume that the latter is more likely. While Indigenous resistance to annexation will certainly be strong and I can imagine a deepening of alliances between different nations, I wonder whether non-Indigenous Canadians would necessarily side with First Nations’ assertion of their sovereignty. Especially in places with economic conflicts between Indigenous and non-Indigenous groups, like the Nova Scotia lobster fishery, non-Indigenous Canadians may even welcome a new regime’s total disregard of treaty rights.
Collaboration or Resistance
CBC’s podcast Front Burner outlined various scenarios and outcomes of an American military invasion of Canada. Of particular interest to me was the parallel drawn to the Netherlands in World War II, where the population self-divided into three groups, each comprising about a third of the population: one that actively resisted, one that sought as little trouble as possible for itself by going with the flow, and one that actively collaborated. The resistance only triumphed because it received outside assistance.
If the United States sent a military force into Canada, Canada could trigger Article 5 of NATO. It is reasonable to expect European countries to send support—assuming that Europe is not itself embroiled in a war with Russia. If, against all evidence to the contrary, Trump manages to show some capacity to plan and execute, then he’ll coordinate an attack on Canada at the same time that Putin invades the Baltic nations. Europe will mobilise to save itself and Canada will be left to go it alone. Canada will have to hope that Europe defeats Russia quickly and decisively. Otherwise, Europe will be too preoccupied to offer anything more than strongly worded statements.
A popular and legitimate government in exile would do much to encourage and preserve Canadian national feeling. Here the Estonian government in exile (1944-1991) may provide some inspiration, although I would hope that Canadian sovereignty could be reestablished within a much shorter timeframe than Estonia’s.
Final Thoughts
GOD KEEP OUR LAND
GLORIOUS AND FREE
O CANADA WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE
O CAAAAAANADA
WE STAND ON GUARD FOR THEE!