Application to the International League of Supervillains, Scandinavia Section

A translation of my application letter, which was originally written in Norwegian

2 December 2025 | Oslo, Norway

Dear Madam, Sir:

With reference to our conversation of 1 December, please accept this application to the position of Captain Chaos. Given my background as a policy analyst and independent researcher as well as my experience in customer service and project management, I believe that I would be an excellent fit for this role.

I will bring the following skills to the position:

Administrative work
In previous roles, I wrote company newsletters that were read by nobody; trolled unserious actors on social media; and developed contract terms and performance measures that were subsequently ignored by all parties. Able to identify workflow chokepoints, develop solutions, and then fail to convince management to implement them. I am also familiar with perpetuating pre-existing chaos within dysfunctional office environments. 

Customer Service 
Years of experience obfuscating answers, occluding useful information, and lying by omission to in-person clients as well as over phone and e-mail. I've been screamed at, sworn at, and feared physical assault, and I can give as good as I get. 

Project Management
20+ years’ experience in the field. As a housekeeper, I have successfully maintained disorder for well over a decade and am incapable of letting empty surfaces remain empty for long. I excel at creating chaos by e.g. losing housekeys, misplacing mobile phones, and failing to back up files. 

Multilingualism  
English is my native language. I also speak Norwegian, German, Dutch, and French. Documented ability to terrorize minions, friends, family, and the general public with non-sequitur doom-laden outbursts in multiple languages. In addition, I can read German Kurrentschrift and Blackletter, and have used this ability to sow fear and panic among non-connoisseurs. 

When I was a child, my parents constantly despaired over my capacity to wreak havoc. Since then, I have continued to develop this skill in both my professional and personal lives, the shambles of which may both stand as testament to my ability, and I am keen to contribute to the Scandinavia-based work of the International League of Supervillains by spreading anarchy and destruction to an even wider audience.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Warm regards,

Lanja